Let me spell out here my thoughts on my work since it was not selected in the public exhibition where I thought I could win the Excellence Award

Today, I was notified of the results of the 76th Yamaguchi Prefecture Art Exhibition. Of course, I knew the result in advance, but I might have panicked considerably if I had only seen the result without going to see the public screening. Although I had high expectations for my work during the public screening, I was glad that I had time to think about it because I was able to look at the works that had been selected and those that had not, with the feeling that I too was suspicious.

Even though my work was not selected, it is frustrating that I cannot sublimate the feelings I put into it, so let me spell it out here.

It was thanks to my wife that we decided to go abroad for our honeymoon.

I was so taken by a sculpture I saw on the Internet, and it happened to be in Italy.

I found the answer to the way I paint now because I saw the expression of Italian cities and sculptures that seem to have been stripped down to the bare essentials.

The title is "Honeymoon Stage."

I borrowed it from my wife's knowledge.

It was a fun honeymoon, and I learned a lot and was inspired by seeing authentic art.

I took pictures of such a wonderful Italy, not because it was a tourist spot, but because I thought it was genuinely nice.

My wife told me that the philosophy of KOSAKA would naturally emerge from these pictures, so I drew a lot of pictures of Italy.

I then exhibited it at the Prefectural Art Exhibition.

I received an honorable mention, so I had no choice but to aim for the grand prize next time.

When I had received an honorable mention, I had never won an Honorable Mention, and I was aiming for more than Honorable Mention, but this time was different.

I honestly think that the grand prize is far away. But I am not giving up.

Of course I would like to win if I could, and I have that feeling.

While I'm working on it, I'm gung-ho with the feeling that I'm going to win the grand prize, but when I calm down, I lose confidence.

I have always lacked self-confidence.

That's why I have nothing good to say when I think about it calmly.

When I calmly think that the grand prize is far away, I even think that if I don't win the grand prize, there's no point in submitting the picture.

But there is no such thing as a waste of time, and in fact, the pictures have improved.

I may have lost sight of myself a little bit because I became so eager to win the grand prize.

Winning the grand prize doesn't change everything, and even if you don't win the grand prize, there are people who leave a mark that will lead them to the next step.

If that is the case, I have been able to regain my mindset that it is important to draw COSACA, not to draw a work that can win the grand prize.

That is why I am now looking forward to submitting my work.

If I don't get an honorable mention or higher, I will just give up and try to be an illustrator again.

But this is something you can think about only after you have finished the work, and you should not think of such an escape route while you are working on it.

Various thoughts and feelings keep coming up, and I hope that these thoughts will be reflected in the eight paintings of Italy.

I wrote this text the day before submitting my work to the prefectural art exhibition, so reading it now, some parts are a bit embarrassing (laugh).

It is true that I did not win any prizes in the awards race, but in this day and age, I can present my paintings anywhere I like.

So I will leave my thoughts and works.